Dr. Teresa Hempfield Ph.D. // Wisdom // EEW Magazine Online

Manipulation can be a force for evil and a particularly sinister vice when used by unsavory people. Depending on how effective someone is at the art of manipulation, they can get almost anyone to do whatever they want them to.

Sadly, in the end, good but unsuspecting people hurt themselves to fulfill the manipulator’s wishes.

So then, what is a manipulator? It is a person that regularly uses behaviors and tactics to control a situation or someone's reactions. They are always on the prowl seeking gullible victims that they can use for their own selfish purposes.

And who are the manipulators of the world? Well, there are many.

Narcissistic people and anyone who lacks integrity (and has no problem stepping on the backs of others to get where they want to be), are agile in the art of manipulation.

To avoid being their next or ongoing victim, apply these 7 laws to avoid being taken advantage of by manipulators.

Law #1 Pray first before moving forward. There are business decisions, relationship choices, and opportunities that look good at first glance. But underneath the shiny surface lies darkness, mess, drama, and toxicity. That’s why praying before jumping into or continuing in any relationship or opportunity is necessary. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says that we should never stop praying.

Law #2 Tap into spiritual discernment. We hear a lot about spiritual discernment, but what is it? It is simply the ability to tell the difference between truth and error, right and wrong. 1 Thessalonians 5:21 tells believers to examine everything carefully, not by applying our own wisdom but the wisdom of God. Prayer and discernment go together. If you seek God, He will show you the truth. It’s up to you, however, to follow His leading. He won’t force you to.

Law #3 Ask lots of questions. 1 John 4:1 says don’t believe everybody. When presented with any opportunity, as you are prayerful, also investigate. Determine if the person is truly who they say they are and are competent enough to be connected to. You do this by asking questions! The more, better, and deeper questions you ask, the more difficult it is for someone to lie to you—especially if they haven’t really thought through what they’re saying. Manipulators don’t like probing questions, because good queries tend to expose chinks in a person’s plan and character and keep schemers from being able to dupe you.

Law #4 Don’t feel pressured to say yes right away. One thing that master manipulators do is try to rush you into saying yes. Pay attention to that. They know that rash decisions work to their advantage, so they don’t like to give you a whole lot of time to think about what is being proposed, said, or done. When someone is too pushy and gets upset when you express reservations, sometimes but not always, this is a good sign that you should turn the other way and run in the opposite direction!

Law #5 Determine if they will help share the load. This law applies to relationships and opportunities that require you to bring something to the table. For example, some people will propose a project, platform, or partnership. And though it is their idea, they will expect you to provide the bulk of the resources, time, and talents to make things flow. After they lay everything out, you realize that most of the responsibility falls at your feet. What kind of partnership is that if you are asked to take on most of the load? Be sure there are shared roles and a clear understanding of the balance of power.

Law #6 Know your value. This sounds self-explanatory and you would think that others consider this law immediately, but they don’t. And because master manipulators know how easy it is to sway someone lacking confidence, they go out of their way to make them feel less-than. Most of the time it works. On the other hand, it is much harder to take advantage of people that know their worth and understand that they have great substance and value. Even though no one has everything together, you must hold fast to the foundational belief that you are enough. Otherwise, conniving cons will consistently undercut, undermine—and in many cases underpay—you without hesitation.

Law #7 Don’t try to measure up to others. Comparing yourself to others and constantly thinking about where you fall short will immediately undermine law #6. You cannot have a healthy sense of your personal worth if you do not celebrate your uniqueness and are not comfortable in your own skin. A master manipulator will constantly remind you of what you lack and why you need them to improve you in some way. But hey, we are all different. The way you shine is not the same as your neighbor, and that’s OK. Someone else’s platform, power, privilege, productivity, and positive traits do not invalidate yours. You don’t ever need to compete. Just be, because comparison is the enemy of contentment and confidence.

No one is bulletproof or immune to manipulation when navigating a world full of snakes and vipers. Yet, God wants you to thrive and avoid being taken advantage of on the daily.

Applying EEW Magazine Online’s 7 laws will help you on your path to personal growth, development and success. These laws, when used, will also cause the manipulator to fail—more often than not—when they are attempting to take advantage of you.