Single Motherhood: Why is there a double standard for everyday Black women versus celebrities?

Feb 12

A$AP Rocky and Rihanna | Credit: DIGGZY/SHUTTERSTOCK

By T’Asia Su // Black Women // EEW Magazine Online

When eponymous Bajan beauty and pop star Rihanna announced that she was expecting her first child with boyfriend, rapper A$AP Rocky, the internet exploded with excitement.

The 33-year-old billionaire founder of Fenty Beauty was met with praise, warm wishes, and “I’m so happy for you!” posts from around the world—something that doesn’t happen for your everyday, Black, single mother, particularly in the church world.

When unmarried, Black women within the faith community reveal their pregnancies, they are often frowned upon, shamed, criticized, and called the dreaded F-word – fornicator.

Unfortunately, at what should be a moment of celebration – since children, however they are conceived, are a blessing from God – Black, single mothers in the church receive the worst backlash from Christians that claim to be loving, compassionate, and nonjudgmental.

Why, though? How come the finger-wagging, shame-on-you, clutch-my-pearls crew doesn’t keep that same energy when famous, wealthy, powerful celebrities like Rihanna, Kylie Jenner, Nicki Minaj and others reveal their buns in the oven?

“Black, single mothers in the faith community have a complicated history with the church,” said licensed psychotherapist and Christian commentator, Dr. Brandi Stewart, from Philadelphia, PA, in an interview with EEW Magazine Online.

“Historically, in the African American church (of which I am a product, so I speak from experience), heavy emphasis is placed on purity, holiness, and doing things right to win the approval of God and man. Not nearly enough attention is given to extending grace, loving people where they are – even when they stumble – and letting God be the judge while we remain rooted in love,” said Dr. Stewart.

“I have seen single, Black women who are upstanding citizens in their communities and active supporters of the church, silenced, meaning, they are made to resign from their posts when they turn up pregnant. It is also very common for pastors to refuse to christen or baptize children birthed from single mothers,” she explained.

Grammy-winning gospel singer, Le’Andria Johnson, a single mother, who rose to fame as winner of the BET gospel singing competition, “Sunday Best,” can attest to this.

“You get pregnant out of wedlock and the whole world turns against you. That's how it felt,” said the “Jesus” singer in an honest and raw interview with Essence. “To hear different ones say, ‘She needs to be sat down until she gets this together,’ I disagree.”

Bishop Marvin Winans of the iconic singing group, The Winans, and pastor of Detroit-based Perfecting Church, once grabbed headlines for his established policy not to bless children of unwed mothers.

While Rihanna and her boyfriend proudly parade around and publicly share their bliss, Black, Christian, single women often hide in shame for fear of being repudiated and ganged up on by self-righteous Christians.

“I think it is past time for the Black church to rethink its treatment of single mothers,” said Dr. Stewart. “There is nothing wrong with preaching Bible-based principles so long as the most important principle is to treat those the church serves with love.”

Dr. Stewart told EEW Magazine Online that it is also important to remember that Rihanna and celebrities like her enjoy a level of influence and wealth that largely shields them from many of the negative realities facing your average Black, single mother.

Take Fantasia Barrino for instance. Prior to making it into the music industry thanks to winning the “American Idol” talent competition in front of millions of adoring viewers, she got pregnant at 17, dropped out of high school, and lived on welfare. By the time Barrino was 19, she was surviving on food stamps in the projects of High Point, North Carolina and arrived at the Georgia Dome in Atlanta with 50 borrowed dollars and a huge dream of becoming the next American Idol.

For her, that dream came true. Yet, for millions of Black women, such dreams do not manifest, and they are left to deal with economic hardship in addition to ridicule.

“The stigmatization of Black, single motherhood is unlikely to end, as religious conflict and socioeconomic disparities remain an unfortunate fixture in our communities,” said Dr. Stewart.

As for Rihanna, People reports that she and the child’s father are ecstatic to welcome their new baby and are happily living together.