Article By Rebecca Johnson // EEW Magazine // Loss

Millions of hearts around the world broke at the news of Kobe Bryant and Gigi Bryant’s death, but only those who have lost a beloved spouse and child at the same time can begin to understand Vanessa Bryant’s pain.

In a heartbreaking Instagram message, the 37-year-old wrote, “My brain refuses to accept that both Kobe and Gigi are gone. I can’t process both at the same time.”

The mother of four, who was married to the NBA legend for 20 years, is grappling with the cruel reality of sudden loss. “It’s like I’m trying to process Kobe being gone but my body refuses to accept my Gigi will never come back to me. It feels wrong,” she said in the caption of a video from Slam magazine showcasing Gianna’s basketball skills. In the clip, the young athlete at Mamba Sports Academy was being coached by her dad, and the two appeared very happy.

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 “Why should I be able to wake up another day when my baby girl isn’t being able to have that opportunity?! I’m so mad,” Vanessa continued. “She had so much life to live. Then I realize I need to be strong and be here for my 3 daughters.”

Vanessa, who has three other daughters, Natalia, 17, Bianka, 3, and Capri, 7 months, said she was sharing her feelings “in case there’s anyone out there that’s experienced a loss like this.”

She added, “God I wish they were here and this nightmare would be over. Praying for all of the victims of this horrible tragedy. Please continue to pray for all.”

The city of Los Angeles will hold a memorial service at Staples Center on Monday, Feb. 24 for both Kobe and Gianna who died in a Jan. 26 helicopter crash along with seven other victims: John Altobelli, Keri Altobelli, Alyssa Altobelli, Sarah Chester, Payton Chester, Christina Mauser, and pilot Ara Zobayan.

The date is significant to the Bryant family because Gianna wore jersey No. 2, and Bryant wore No. 24.