Article By Sonya Hemsworth // EEW Magazine // Empowerment

Those who “throw shade” express their contempt or disapproval of you by making snide remarks, saying mean-spirited things, and being condescending. Oftentimes, they seem boisterous, confident and unafraid to speak their mind.

But you might be surprised to learn that the shadiest people, despite finding numerous ways to undermine others, don’t have the courage or confidence they portray.

Here are 6 things you need to know about shady people that just might surprise you.

They have low self-esteem. Critics and shade-throwers often don’t like themselves very much and suffer from low self-esteem. Because they are unhappy, they resent your happiness. And their envy is revealed in the form of criticism. Always know that those who criticize you very harshly are typically far worse critics of themselves. Secure people uplift others, while insecure people tear others down.

They are super sensitive. You would think that a sensitive-natured individual would be careful about offending others. But the opposite is true when it comes to shade-throwers. They hide their own sensitivity and vulnerability behind a brash persona. You would be stunned to discover that they could never withstand the storm of criticism they create around you. They would go to pieces and end up swimming in a puddle of their own tears. When others lash out at a shady person, they suddenly become a victim and an advocate for victims’ rights.

They secretly admire you. When someone speaks ill of you and throws dirt on your name, you might assume they don’t like you and can’t stand anything about you. But really, the opposite is true. Individuals that obsess over your life and comment negatively on your every move are really secret admirers. They are fans in disguise, so don’t let their ugly commentary get inside your head.

They wouldn’t say it to your face. Seldom will those who talk about you behind your back say the same thing to your face—especially social media bullies. Furthermore, tweeting you and meeting you are two different things. You would be shocked to learn that Internet trolls and gossip queens don’t keep that same negative energy when they see you face to face. So then, you may as well ignore that shade, and refuse to get worked up over comments from a coward.

They throw shade just to get attention. Clout chasers seek notoriety by targeting people they feel have more influence and a bigger platform than them. When they throw shade, they hope to get a public response in order to draw more attention to themselves. The best way to respond to this type of person is to ignore them. It will drive them crazy, but it will help you keep your sanity. Pray for them privately, but don’t dignify their foolishness publicly.

They are harboring hurt. As the very popular saying goes, “Hurt people, hurt people.” And it’s very true. Misery loves company, and those who are hurting while refusing to get the help they need to get over that hurt, try to inflict pain upon others. Some people that have been abused in various ways go on to abuse others, and they are called victimized abusers. Refuse to become their next victim. Don’t ever let their shade overshadow your light. Simply pray that God heals them.

It is worth noting that everyone who criticizes you isn’t shady or a hater. Sometimes, they are telling the truth and keeping you accountable.

However, shade-throwers are intent on tearing you down and finding fault with whatever you do—even good stuff. When you encounter people like this, if you don’t guard your heart, they will destroy your self-image and lower your self-worth.

So how do you guard yourself against their attacks? You do this by putting on the armor of God as outlined in Ephesians 6:11-20. This spiritual armor will protect you and stop the shade-throwers’ poisonous arrows of hatred from penetrating.