Advice from a Christian with a checkered past: ‘Never judge, always love’

People

Aug 1

By J.T. Morgan // People // EEW Magazine Online

I’m not your average squeaky-clean Christian. I have made poor decisions in my past and am more like Mary Magdalene – the one Jesus cast seven demons out of – than the virgin Mary who birthed the Messiah.

I’m no angel.

My mother was addicted to drugs. My father was abusive and in and out of prison. My grandmother, who meant well but was in over her head, raised me as best as she could. But I was a latchkey kid with too much freedom, attitude, and stubbornness to stay out of trouble.

By the time I was 13, I was pregnant with a drinking habit and a 16-year-old boyfriend that liked to slap me around. I lost the baby the same day I purposely overdosed on a pill concoction provided by my soon-to-be baby daddy who didn’t want to be one.

By 16, I was the girl down to do something strange for a piece of change. I devalued and abused my body because nobody ever told me I was worth anything. Life began to change for me after my grandma died and I went to live with one of my aunts, a strict Christian.

She shut down the rebellion fast by giving me two options: her way or the highway. I had spent enough time on the highway to know I was tired of couch hopping, giving my body away, and tolerating abuse and disrespect.

My aunt’s way meant Bible study on Tuesday nights and church on Sundays. I didn’t want to go, but getting regular meals, a warm bed, and a roof over my head with no drama made the exchange feel worthwhile. My aunt wasn’t overly affectionate, but I didn’t receive that much affection anyway, so that was fine.

However, she was encouraging. She told me I had value, that I could be better, and that God loved me. She read the Bible to me, talked to me about life goals and my future. She annoyed me with her no-nonsense rules and Jesus-talk, but she was a good person.

Auntie helped me get my GED and tame my wild side enough to be a respectable citizen. Though developing a personal relationship with Jesus didn’t happen until I was in my late twenties, she helped set me on the right path.

That doesn’t mean I stayed there, though.

Once I got a job and my own place, I fell in with the wrong crowd again, got involved with street dudes, and gave birth to a son whose daddy got locked up for dealing drugs. Feeling out of options and confused about what was next for me, I dragged myself to my aunt’s church and made my way to the altar crying when the pastor made an appeal for salvation. I didn’t know what I was expecting to happen when I said yes to God; I just knew I wanted better, and better is what I got.

I experienced new levels of peace and joy. I connected with my church family. Even though I didn’t feel like I fit in with all my tattoos, long nails, hair weaves, and loud makeup, I still felt a sense of acceptance. My aunt surrounded me with a circle to keep me accountable.

I have been a Christian for ten years, and my days running the streets now seem like a distant memory. Today, I teach Bible study and help lost women in the urban community find themselves by sharing the same gospel that saved me.

I now take pride in myself and love giving dignity to women that feel like they’ve lost theirs. When I see their brokenness, I don’t judge, because I see myself in their eyes. I relate to their hardships, tears, and suffering just as Jesus relates to all of ours.

What I have learned through my journey and others’ is the importance of love, compassion, and being nonjudgmental. You never know what someone has been through or is currently going through. But if you are willing to reach out and assist, you can be responsible for turning lives around and starting a cycle of change in your neighborhood and community.

Never judge always love.

J.T. Morgan, the writer, is among the women in the urban community helped and supported by 501c3 nonprofit, Empowering Everyday Women Ministries, which assists urban communities in the US and under-served populations around the world. Support the mission, cause, and important work of this nonprofit by donating a tax-deductible gift of any size at EmpoweringEverydayWomen.org/donate.