For days, two comedians, D.L. Hughley and Monique Hicks have been locked in an online dispute that turned nasty. (Credit: EEW Magazine)

By Tina Daughtery // Controversy // EEW Magazine Online

I played basketball on the girls’ team in high school. The first time I possessed the ball during regulation, it touched a player that was outside the designated boundary and was declared “out of bounds.”

I lost control of the ball and cost my team a possession in a game we eventually lost.

When watching the back-and-forth dispute between comedians Monique Hicks and DL Hughley, that high school experience came rushing back to me. I thought to myself, Monique crossed a boundary.

By introducing an out-of-bounds topic – someone else’s sexual assault – to get back at DL Hughley over what began as a contract dispute is a no-no.

To be fair, comedians roast and one-up each other all the time which is not out of bounds and is usually harmless. In fact, these typically trivial squabbles generally make for good laughs, great publicity, and even give bragging rights to the overall winner.

But nobody is winning in this dispute.

When Monique, 54, brought up the past sexual trauma of Ryan Nicole Shepard, eldest daughter of DL Hughley, 59, to malign his character, thousands rightly cried foul.

The over-the-line insult became public when the Oscar-winning Precious star posted an old clip of DL Hughley, one of The Original Kings of Comedy, as he admitted that he regrets his failure to believe Ryan when she first told him she had been violated by someone.

Monique latched onto the confession, captioning the video, “DL didn’t believe his own daughter over a friend, because he seemingly likes his friend more than he loved his own daughter and didn’t want to be bothered by the inconvenient truth.”

Where is a referee with a whistle when you need one?

Monique further discussed the incident in a video with her husband, Sydney Hicks, saying that DL Hughley had let a man touch his daughter.

DL Hughley poses with his daughter, Ryan Shepard, on her wedding day (Credit: Sally Pinera Wedding Photography)

As outrage grew online, Ryan, the victim who did not deserve to be disrespected this way, personally responded in a post criticizing Monique’s mention of her (as well as her mother during a prior comedy set).

“Out of all the things you could have legitimately said about my dad, if that’s the route you wanted to take, you chose to be deliberately mean and hurtful to two Black women who have nothing to do with this conversation,” Ryan, a classically trained cook and food journalist, rebutted. She ended her message to Monique by offering to have a private conversation to clear the air.

The standup comic replied to Ryan by requesting an interview on DL Hughley’s radio show instead – something thousands of people of have spoken out against.

DL Hughley has since replied to Monique again at the request of his daughter Ryan whom he said, “was crying over the weekend.”

The syndicated radio host chided his rival Monique for dredging up his daughter’s past and weaponizing her deeply personal sexual trauma.

He said in a clip posted on social media that he did not appreciate Ryan “having her trauma trotted out in front of the world in a situation she had nothing to do with, that doesn’t have anything to do with a contract,” adding, “particularly when it’s from somebody who claims to love us for real.”

DL Hughley also took time to address Monique telling her audience he “let a man touch my child,” saying “nothing could be further from the truth.”

He then proceeded to clarify what happened.

“They were both 13 years old,” said DL Hughley. “They were friends that had grown up together. She told me about it years later.”

When Ryan finally unburdened herself, DL Hughley said, he told her, “‘Well, you know, that’s what kids do.’ Now, that was my estimation of it. It was not her interpretation of it. She was hurt by that. And I will never forgive myself for not (a) believing her and (b) handling it the way I did.”

Sexual trauma is a sensitive and serious subject and should never be mishandled this way by Monique or anyone else.

As a sexual assault survivor, I would have been mortified had someone used my trauma in the way Monique has used Ryan’s.

Black women, who are often said to be “unprotected” in society, have enough adversity coming our way from outside our community. We do not need those inside, who are supposed to be allies, exploiting their sisters in harmful ways such as this.

There is no question that Ryan is owed an apology. Prayerfully, Monique will give her one – that is, if she truly loves Black women for real as she claims.

Love is not a word to be spoken; it is an action to be shown.