Written By Meela Johnson // EEW Magazine Online // Friendship

“A friend loves at all times, and…is born for adversity.” (Proverbs 17:17)

The pandemic has tested many relationships. Not being able to see friends and family members in person on a regular basis and needing to resort to technology for interactions has been challenging for many of us—especially those of us who need and value real, personal connection.

But God-ordained friendships can withstand tests, trials, and transitions. Divine connections can survive seasons of temporary disconnection. So, how can you know whether your connection with your girlfriends is divinely orchestrated?

Let’s use my niece’s hair for example. It grows long despite her failure to regularly condition her scalp, detangle her curls, or free it from her favorite messy bun. My sister (her mom) says, “If that child’s hair growth depended on her taking care of it, she would be just about bald!”

It’s a good thing my niece’s hair can grow without the best maintenance, just like relationships can. To maintenance a relationship means to give it ample time and attention. While this is important and should not be neglected, the best maintenance is not always possible. Seasons of life change, and times get hectic. Depending on what you’re going through, your priorities have to shift, and you are unable to be there the way you want to be.

This does not mean your friend is no longer a priority. You’re just going through something that requires you to reprioritize and redirect your energy. In these moments, you deserve understanding and grace, not judgment and ridicule.

True sisterhood can survive the inevitable low maintenance or no maintenance phases—notice the emphasis on true sisterhood. But there are some “so-called” friends that will drop you like a hot skillet for not returning a phone call or text and feel perfectly justified. They will assume the worst about you and cop an attitude without considering what may be preventing you from being available to them.

There is a popular quote many share on social media that says, “People make time for who they want to make time for. Never believe anyone who says they’re too busy. If they wanted to be around you, they would.” You may have even shared this quote before, and it can be true in some situations. But if this popular saying, which sounds good in theory, is applied too broadly, it can cause friction and lead to offense in what could be a healthy relationship. Without using a bit of context, a person will by default think that their friend doesn’t care about them.

But what if that person is depressed? Grieving a tough loss? Having health issues? Stressed to the max and feeling lost? Navigating an extremely busy season and barely keeping their own head above water?

Life pressures like work, church, kids, spouses, sickness, mental health battles, or other personal struggles, can on occasion put distance between you and your friend. And this is fine. Bonds created by God are not fragile. People placed in your life for the long haul are understanding and able to believe the best about you and your intentions.

True friends can go a long time without speaking and pick up where they left off without missing a beat. No one is angry or accusing the other of neglect. The two simply enjoy their time together with no grudges or side-eyes.

Hold on to these type relationships if you have them; they are from God. Someone who is truly connected to you knows your heart, has your back and gives you as much grace and space as you need. Instead of getting upset with you during low-maintenance or no-maintenance seasons, they will intercede for you and let you know that they will be right there when you’re ready and able to reconnect.

Do you have a divinely ordained friendship or several like this? If so, send them this article, and let them know you appreciate them!