By EEW Magazine Online // Advice // Self-care

Trying to do it all is bad for your mental health, but many of us still try. If, perhaps, there is anyone like me who grew up loving the original Amazonian princess, Lynda Carter, as Wonder Woman, you know how intoxicating the do-it-all-woman depiction can be. Carter starred in the superhero TV series from 1976 to 1979 and made me feel so empowered.

As empowering as characters like this may be, the truth is, I am not a superhero—and neither are you. We cannot be all things to all people at all times. Not unless we want to burn out and fry our brains in the process.

Since we know that doing it all isn’t possible, why do we try to take care of everybody while neglecting ourselves? Though some say women are hardwired to be nurturers, natural predispositions do not make superheroes real.

So, on the count of three, slowly back away from the cape, darling. Come on. You can do it… one careful, backward step at a time.

Here’s the thing. A whole lot of us struggle with setting healthy boundaries and saying no. Therefore, if you find yourself in frequent predicaments that leave you feeling tired, overwhelmed, and burnt out, you’re not the only one!

In case you need help, here are 4 rules to follow to assist you in getting rid of the superhero cape for good and saving yourself before it’s too late!

Rule #1: Erase the “S” from your chest.  “S” stands for superwoman. Do you, by any chance, have this letter engraved on your chest? If so, it’s probably been there so long, you believe it is a true part of your identity. Wrong! Superheroes only exist in comics, movies, and television series. You are not one of them, so it’s time to undergo a personal rebranding. Now is your chance to the erase the “S” and replace it with an “H” which stands for human. Humans need rest, boundaries, and moments to steal way and replenish.

Rule #2: Identify patterns that are tied to your history. If you overcompensate, overcommit, and overdo it regularly, chances are, you learned that behavior from someone or something. Did you grow up seeing a parent or guardian behave in this manner? Were there negative experiences in your childhood that reinforced that you needed to do more for others to earn their approval, support, and love? Did a person or experience teach you to suppress your own needs and always put others’ needs first? Examining historical patterns will help you identify the root of your superhero complex. This is a must. Otherwise, you will never change what you cannot identify.

Rule #3: Give yourself permission to pivot. To pivot means to change, adjust, or modify. You must tell yourself that it is okay to switch up your approach, set new goals, and show up differently in the world. Give yourself permission to grow and evolve. If you don’t, you will remain stuck in the same predicament; others will anticipate behaviors and patterns from you that are consistent with what you have always done. No one will make the changes for you. It is your job to set new expectations and respect your own boundaries before anyone else ever will. Tell yourself daily, it is not a bad thing to pivot—and get to turning!

Rule #4: Do not apologize for placing your needs first. We hear that “self-care is not selfish,” but it can be hard to adopt that mindset and put it into practice in our daily lives. Until you accept that statement as truth, you will feel the need to say sorry for honoring your needs. You will be riddled with guilt for not showing up for others at the expense of your own needs. You will harbor regret, experience anxiety, and view self-care in a negative light. You will apologize for placing your needs first, and no one should ever feel guilty for taking care of their physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional health.

If you are tired of jumping from tall buildings, sailing through the air terrified, and plummeting headfirst into the hard pavement of despair and burnout, hang up the superhero cape.

Realize that superheroes aren’t real, humans are. Mere mortals need boundaries, limits, and nurturing.